Yet more updates

I will be deleting this blog very soon in order to launch a new, less blog-focused, personal website. It will include sections for my writing, conlanging and music, as well as links to my Bandcamp, Soundcloud etc.


In case you missed it, my new album will be titled Someday You’ll Be a Star! and will be released in the next month. I don’t have an exact date yet, but there will be an announcement closer to the time.

The tracklisting is as follows:

1. I Can’t See
2. Everyday
3. Red Jean Blues (orchestral cut)
4. Rudolph Randolph
5. Silly Hate Songs
6. Automaton
7. Boomeron/Zoomeron
8. Better Living Through Self-Amputation
9. I Can’t See (part 2)

I am looking for money to buy new recording equipment and register my preferred URL and as such donations would be greatly appreciated:


Music update

I’m pleased to announce that after a personal crisis work on new Notorious Nine material has recommenced!

What to expect? Diatribes on the state of modern pop music, songs about slightly more unlikely subjects and Poundland Phil Spector production you’ll come to either love or hate.

Also, I’ve made the decision to gradually phase out this blog. I do not feel much of the content is currently representative of me and I want to focus my energies on my music for the time being. I hope to launch a new website sometime in the future, but any blogging will be few and far between as it will focus on my work.

Music update

Due to unforseen circumstances, the planned followup to Red Jean Blues has been postponed for the forseeable future.

This does not preclude the release of other material- I am delaying the release of this particular single due to the lyrical content not meshing well with my current situation. In other words, it’s “too soon”. This does not mean it will never be released, in fact I may feel comfortable releasing it when enough time has passed.

I am to resume work on the Notorious Nine’s debut album shortly.

I have another passion apart from rambling incoherently on the internet

Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a rockstar. At the age of 5 I idolised Liam Gallagher, owning several pairs of his favourite kind of shades and happily tearing off my “Brian Clough” green jumper in the middle of class to reveal an Oasis T-shirt. As was the style of the time I moved onto the Spice Girls, but never quite shook off my roots.

So you can conclude that this passion is music. But I just don’t have the personality to be flashy and outgoing, as much as I want to be. I make Morrissey look like Pee Wee Herman. Nevertheless, the internet has opened up channels previously closed to the wannabe musician. And so here is the project I have teased previously.

Introducing my group* The Notorious Nine and our debut single Red Jean Blues! Apparently, this song is already number one in Azerbaijan!

Musically, we believe that genre is a restrictive, unnecessary category and that liberties should be taken in all endeavours. If I wake up in a doo-wop mood, I’ll write a doo-wop song. If I wake up in a rock mood on the day of recording said doo-wop song, I’ll give it an edge during recording. The overarching theme is “do what thou willst”. This “labelless” approach also has a double meaning- by not being tied to a label, we are free to release whatever the fuck we want, when we want it. We won’t be pressured into doing another RJB just because that song was a big hit in Azerbaijan. If we ever do get signed to a major label, artistic freedom must be guaranteed or ELSE.

Keep an eye out for our debut album, coming soon!

*Okay, I may be stretching the truth a little here. The Notorious Nine is, at the moment, merely a one-person project- that person being me. The name is nonindicative of the actual number of members- whoever shows up on the day can be a member! However, I have approached interested parties and they may be appearing on upcoming releases.

One year on

Well, it’s been one year since the world’s greatest comedian came into office. One year of sheer hilarity communicated through the type of inepitude that would get anyone in a lesser position fired.

When Donald isn’t engaging in a cold war with an equally incompetent leader, he’s calling countries he doesn’t like “shitholes” and banning people from said countries from entering the US with a complete disregard for their still rebuilding from natural disasters which all but destroyed them.

Is this how a world leader should act? No! While world leaders have every right to an opinion, they should do it in a dignified manner that befits their position. As representatives of their country, they should give off a good impression. Even Bush could give an air of dignity to his constant warmongering, no doubt assisted by his many aides.

So thank you Donald for making politics even more of a shithole.


If 2016 was the year all the celebrities died, 2017 will be remembered as the year humanity died.

The year we regressed to primal instincts over a man who was until recently the American version of Alan Sugar. A man who is an absolute idiot in the Bush mould, pandering to a base that still thinks 9/11 was yesterday. People have been KILLED over these arguments. This isn’t healthy at all.

2017 also ended with a kid being “swatted” to death over an argument in Call of Duty. Swatting, for the unaware, is the practice of sending a SWAT team to somebody’s house as a prank. It happens mostly in online gaming, and it was a stupid idea to begin with. To think it wasn’t going to end in somebody being killed or seriously injured was a deluded belief.

We live in an era of animals. An era where the Bushian cry of “it’s okay to kill innocent people if they disagree with us!” has been transposed onto the public. An era where we consider somebody’s beliefs to be more important than their character. It’s time we learned to get along. If you disagree with somebody’s beliefs, feel free to have a rational debate with them.

Here’s to a more peaceful 2018.