Monthly Archives: January 2017

The beginnings of a short story?

For a while, Suleyman Khan had changed his name to Solomon Cohen and pretended to be an Orthodox Jew. His wife and children followed suit- Maryam became Miriam, Ismail became Izzy and Zainab became Zelda. The kufi normally on his head was replaced by a kippah. He put his thick accent down to having spoken Yiddish all his life. Friday afternoons at the mosque were replaced by nights at the synagogue. He thought this would be the easiest way to avoid the watchful eye of the government that hated his religion. Orthodox Judaism and the religion of this traditional immigrant were pretty close to each other and he wanted to show the world how hypocritical it was that the president let his daughter convert to Judaism while banning Muslims from entering the country.

It was easy but also hard.

“Solomon” was attacked by a man screaming antisemitic epithets. He and his family quickly packed up and left the city, adopting another identity in a small country town. He was now Simon Collins, replacing the kufi with a truckers’ cap. Maryam was Mary, eschweing the hijab. Izzy and Zelda remained the same. Trying to live the Christian lifestyle was more difficult than trying to live the Jewish one, but it was necessary. The holy day became Sunday, and while they attended the local Baptist church they also kneeled on the mat five times a day in the privacy of their own home.

One Sunday, they met the Perry family. Like the “Collinses”, they had a darker hue than most of the other people at church and Joe, like “Simon”, felt excluded as a result.

“I’m just a Anglo-Saxon Protestant,” he said to “Simon”. “But I’m always getting strange looks from the people around us. I swear they’ve never seen a darker-skinned white person before.”

“I get that too.” “Simon” said in his thick accent.

Joe’s jaw dropped.

“Y- You’re not from around here, are you?”


“Well, let’s tell the truth. My real name isn’t Joe Perry. It’s Jose Perez. My parents came from rural Mexico. The thing is, they weren’t legal when they had me. I’m scared I- as an ‘anchor baby’- may get deported. My wife came here when she was ten. What the president doesn’t understand is that so many come for a better life in America. He’s turning the American Dream into a nightmare.”

“Simon” looked at “Joe” for a second and broke down crying. This man was just like him, an American forced to wear a WASP mask just to fit into the new system.


Okay, something that doesn’t have anything to do with Trump for once

I’m close to taking on the Elite Four in Moon and am doing my customary grind beforehand. Yet it’s no fun when you’re always at the risk of SOS battles (“the wild Wailord called for help!”).

These can turn a simple thirty second battle into a ten minute slog. You’ve defeated the other Wailord and are going to finish off the original. But wait! “The wild Wailord called for help!”


And you’ve got ANOTHER Wailord to contend with! Yes, there is NO LIMIT to how many times a Pokémon may call for help. Sure, it increases your chances of getting a shiny, but I’m not here for shiny collecting just yet. And the chances are still in the 1/1000th range at 255 calls for help from what I recall.

To avoid SOS battles you must either defeat easy opponents in one go for minimum experience or hit them with a status move. Right now, the only pure status move in my party is Yawn and that only takes effect one turn later, meaning the wild Pokémon can easily call for help at the end of the current turn. My beloved Arcanine’s Flamethrower only has a small probability of burning. I should take Raichu out of the PC and use her Nuzzle.

But if you don’t have any status moves in your party, you’re screwed.

Thanks Game Freak.

Another open letter to Donald

Are you aware that your immigration ban has real consequences for real people?

You say it’s not a “Muslim ban”, but the ban exclusively affects Muslim-majority countries! Proud Americans, the great majority of who are not terrorists in the slightest, are being denied entry  from overseas because of their other citizenships. You’re an American too, you should look out for ALL Americans, not just those who meet your Real American™ criteria. More alternative truthing, eh?

Growing up, I knew many people who were either born in Muslim nations or held citizenship of Muslim nations via parentage. They wouldn’t hurt a fly and yet they’re on your list. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were already the most unpopular president of all time and you’ve only been in office nine days.

Dictators never feel empathy for anyone, do they?

The emperor has no clothes

Dear Donald,

I am an open critic of the “fake news” being spread by supposedly legitimate outlets in order to push an agenda. You seemed like one too, until it became clear that you wanted all “fake news” banned except your own.

You’re using the same tactics that you have criticised so many times in the past. You’ve criticised Kim Jong-un, most of us have, but you’re no different. Any opinion that isn’t 100% praising the Supreme Leader of the United States gets bashed by your informal army of defenders. Just like Crooked Hillary. And this is just in the first week of your reign. Given your recent ban on citizens of certain Muslim nations entering the US and your support of waterboarding, I can only think of the punishments you would enact were you to make criticism officially illegal. I clearly remember the scaremongering from the same people who brigade those who criticise you- “oh Obama is going to make it illegal to criticise him!”- and they want you to do the same with yourself!

Oh, and the wall. You didn’t pull off talks with Vicente Fox regarding it, Vicente Fox did. You could lock Stevie Wonder in an underground concrete room painted in black pitch and he could still see that.


Yours in the unity of all human beings,


PS: Can’t you and Teresa just shag already? I’m getting sick of waiting for the inevitable.

Hypocrisy, thy name is the Trump Train

So it turns out many of the Trump supporters who criticised the “if you don’t vote for Hillary you’re sexist” types from the primary season till November 8th are just as bad if not worse.

They aren’t going to pull the official Hillary Clinton Woman Card™, but they will gang up on you if you dare make one slight against The Donald or his policies. They often complain that “liberals”- in actuality a small minority of radicals- isolate themselves in an echo chamber but they’re doing the same thing. Even people who voted for Trump are called a “cuck” and driven out of their political circles if they have any opinions to the left of neo-Nazi.

I guess they’re not going to like this blog then. Let me hit them with some truth. The election came down to between two of the most unelectable, odious people in history. Trump only won because he gave a modicum of a shit about the working class while Hillary only wanted to please her 1% masters. The majority of Americans- even those belonging to the same party that foistered GEORGE W. BUSH on the world sixteen years ago- hated Trump, finding him, his cabinet, and his policies to be racist, sexist, homophobic and otherwise discriminatory. If the Democrats hadn’t pulled out all the stops for Hillary and forced Bernie Sanders to concede after months of fishy primary results, President Sanders would be making REAL change.

Gang up on me all you can, but just realise you’re supporting the most unpopular president in US history. The majority are against you, even many of your fellow Trump supporters.

Link of the day

If you like Pokémon and plush toys, or are just hankering for a blast from the past, take a butchers at the PokePlushProject on Flickr.

The curator seeks to “catch ’em all” in the toy department, which is a mean feat considering the latest games bring the grand total to 802 and new plushies are being made daily. I wish sem good luck with that.

And yes, that “Growlithe” you may see is apparently official merchandise. Must be the rare Burned Form.


Tonight we dine in fluff










So sayeth the Mage of Incredible Age to our young, supple hero of indeterminate gender.

After five twenty-minute long cutscenes, hero of indeterminate gender walks two steps… to be greeted by another set of boring cutscenes describing how to talk to people. HOIG already got told how to in a tutorial at the beginning. It’s the A button. HOIG presses A but the cutscenes still continue. It takes forty minutes this time for the deluge to end.


HOIG is allowed to take THREE steps…


The real-life HOIG throws the 3DS down and goes outside.

Maybe you should too.