Monthly Archives: April 2016

Pondering of the day

The fact that the air you are breathing right now is everybody else’s dirty used air is kind of comforting, isn’t it?

In actuality, it’s freaking me out. Tongue kisses, or as I like to call it, germ exchange, is the most disgusting thing I can think of. I don’t want to share in the contents of somebody else’s mouth. I’m wearing a facemask for the rest of my life.

OCD be cursed.

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Toilet graffiti

I don’t like using public toilets for a number of reasons. However, if an uncontrollable need rises I will. Often, I find myself reading the graffiti on the walls during my constitutional. Apart from the usual “for free sex call…”, “Jane Smith sucks cock for Subway” and “John loves Jenny 4 life” in a heart there are often some gems.

While not wholly unexpected given the politicial climate, I was surprised to see “Fuck ISIS” daubed in turquoise marker in the WC at the Waingate Wilkinsons today. As well as “(name forgotten) loves Elvis 4 ever” in the handwriting of an adolescent girl. These two, as well as the picture collection The Curious Mr. Sottsass by the eponimous Italian designer Ettore which I picked up at the doctors’ office for 50p, inspire me to create a new project.

I shall document toilet graffiti from all places and write poetry and prose based on them. Like many of my ideas though, I see it going down the crapper after the individual spark.

Edit: 50th entry! Couldn’t be a more fitting subject matter.

The spectrum

Our characteristics- our features, our races, our genders, our religions- all plot us somewhere on a multidimensional spectrum. We are all different yet all the same. We are all homo sapiens sapiens, quings of the prarie and concrete.
So why is there still so much hate? Can it ever be quelled? The answer is yes, the answer is no. We must strive for a world of perfect perception, numbing ourselves to difference. But there will always be at least one who refuses to conform to the rule. We can strip them of their humanity but we cannot cast them out of the spectrum.

 

Review: Co-op Dr. Pop Zero

Decided to do some reviews, especially pertaining to food and drink. Please consider donating to my Patreon if you want to see more, I really appreciate the little extra.
As a lifelong Dr. Pepper fan I am always keen to try off-brand “Doctor” drinks. Some are just watery cherry cola while others are pretty close approximations of the real thing. The Co-op, like many other UK supermarkets, has their own-brand “Dr. Pop”. At the moment, many Co-ops are selling the Zero variant four for a pound, so I had to check it out.
So how was it? It definitely falls into category 2 with a very similar taste to Dr. Pepper Zero. However, it is smoother, thicker and fruitier- I detect a distinct citrusy tang in the blend when it hits the back of my throat- yet something is missing. This is understandable as the official Dr. Pepper formula is kept secret and all others have to try and approximate it.
So in conclusion, it lacks the magic of Dr. Pepper. However, it’s a solid substitute at a decent price and I highly recommend it.

Some people…

dragon

Even this cartoon dragon is not impressed with your idiocy. (Picture: Jason Liebig)

So I was looking through the fantastic Jason Liebig collection of old (mostly) American food wrappers on Flickr and this dish caught my eye.

 

Ah yes, western-made Chinese in a can. What can possibly go wrong? To be fair though, the illustrative picture looks nice. Puts me in mind of a Bombay mix. However, this isn’t what got to me.

The company slogan is “Quick-Toasted in Dragon Fire*”, accompanied by a mascot named Delbert the Dragon whom Jason informs us was a Jim Henson creation. Note the asterisk. See what it leads to?

“*La Choy Food Products’ descriptive phrase for its quick-cooking process.”

REALLY? Are there people stupid enough to think that their chow mein was actually cooked by a cartoon dragon? Reminds me of an advert several years ago for Bratz dolls which came with a “magic wand”. The disclaimer at the end of the advert?

“Wand not really magic.”

Now I get that’s aimed at kids, some of whom would naturally have difficulty distinguishing between fantasy and reality, but those who couldn’t would be bitterly disappointed and those who could would be laughing their heads off. But I’m assuming the target audience for this was adults. Putting aside the “Americans are dumb” stereotype, why on earth would an obvious metaphor on an adult product require such a disclaimer?

Here’s where you get involved: comment below on disclaimers you’ve seen of the “people are morons” variety.