Camel toe

2011_trampeltier_1528Yes, WordPress automatically corrects all instances of the spelling with only one capital to the CamelCase version.

Nobody cares about CamelCase!

There really is no need, especially in this day and age where lowercasewebaddress.es and #hashtags are common and easily read. Except, of course, if there is ambiguity. It’s not 1994 anymore. The internet is no longer something new and exotic. wedontcare is as easy to understand as WeDontCare.

How anally retentive can one site get? Does Nintendo go around autocorrecting all comments on Miiverse referring to “Pokemon”? Does TMZ do the same for “Beyonce”? People can spell a word CamelCase, with one capital, with or without an accent. It really doesn’t matter.

Please stop it.

The new WordPress editor

My God.

You’ve changed something that didn’t need to be changed. Once again.

Let’s see: You’ve moved post settings to the right. I’ve been on WP for almost a year and the lefty leftness of the post settings is something burned into my mind. Now you’ve moved it to the right, which is nigh-on blasphemy. My left-in-all-respects brain cannot handle this!

Now we’ve also got tons and tons of white space around the editor. It looks as ugly and unprofessional as the post settings looks plain. If you really power 27% of the internet as you claim, you could go for a much sleeker look rather than lock up a bunch of GCSE IT pupils for an hour with only the web layout option on Word. On a computer running Vista.

What are you going to do next? Change the logo to a modernist W farted out in roughly two seconds by an overpaid design consultant in the city? That’s probably what you’ll do. I’m surprised you haven’t had any angry letters from a certain German automobile manufacturer yet.

For the last time: If it’s not broke- don’t bother fixing it!

EDIT: Interestingly, the “WordPress” in the title autocorrected to the official CamelCase version. I have no use for CamelCase. Why force it on random bloggers?

 

Recently…

…I’ve been working on getting my mind in gear by turning off my internet when working.

It’s wonderful, but it can lead to downfalls. Just like chocolate.

I’ve found it working so far but my finger still hovers above the connections tab on my taskbar.

Maybe I should work in a locked room with just a typewriter and a glass of iced tea?

As International Womens’ Day comes to a close- yes, Emma Watson is right

Actor and feminist activist Emma Watson recently did a Vanity Fair shoot in which she showed off her boobs in a sheer top. Radicals were outraged and demanded to know why she was committing this horrendously misogynistic act.

Emma’s response? “Feminism is about choice.”

Let’s go back to the Victorian era. Women had little choice in what to do apart from marrying, reproducing, cooking and cleaning. They weren’t allowed to do most things men could freely- not just voting, but SMOKING and WEARING TROUSERS were staunchly off-limits. Feminism rose out of those circumstances to show this patriarchal society that women deserved far, far more.

Now the great-great-great granddaughters of these original feminists have reverted to the prudishness of their forebears. The radical feminist reaction to porn is nothing new- Andrea Dworkin and friends campaigned against the art alongside fundamentalist Christian groups in the 1980s- but now it seems all celebration of the female form is off limits. And that, in my opinion, is true sexism. Men can flaunt their chests all the time but Watson can’t? She is right. Feminism should be about a woman’s right to choose in all matters- what to wear, what to do, and yes, whether or not she should have an abortion. Body policing is about as UNfeminist as you can get!

(Quite hypocritically, I have noticed overlap between the porn-exclusionary feminists and the ones who elevate the vagina from reproductive organ to symbol of female empowerment. Baking vagina-shaped cupcakes for your 8 year old child’s class is alright but showing off no more than can be seen in a PG-rated movie isn’t?)

These people aren’t about choice, they’re about forcing their narrowmindedness on half of the world’s population. Remember when feminism was also called “women’s lib”? Emma Watson is liberating herself through the way she dresses! Liberation as a form of oppression- seems very Orwellian to me.

Happy International Women’s Day to everyone. My hope for the coming year is that these people realise that feminism is indeed about a woman’s right to choose.

It’s time for some changes

This weekend’s FA Cup fixtures see two sides from outside the Premier League, including the first non-league side to reach the quarter finals of the tournament. The reason for this isn’t just the luck of the cup though.

It’s the bigger sides’ arrogance, thinking they can field a full starting XI of reserves against “lesser” teams.

One of the few things the disaster that was the Checkatrade Trophy got right was imposing a limit on how many changes teams could make from their regular starting XI. That cup is actually meaningless and most teams didn’t listen. But the FA Cup continues to lose its lustre every time Arsenal field their under 5s against “lesser” opposition, as they will undoubtedly do against Lincoln on Saturday.

So my suggestion is this: Either Premier League clubs make no more than five changes from their regular starting XI or opt out of the cup. When Manchester United opted out of the FA Cup to play in Brazil, Brian Clough famously said “I hope they all get bloody diarrhoea”.

So there. Either give a shit about the cup or shit blood. Not a hard choice.

If French TV has a ban on broadcasting terrorists’ names and faces…

…will we ever get a ban on broadcasting Donald Trump’s name and face?

He’s no terrorist (at least not as of yet), but my God he’s an ugly little sod with an equally ugly name. Why on earth would his Scottish-born mother allow his father to bestow THAT last name on their children? I know it’s not American slang, and he probably didn’t get the same kind of treatment that, say, Dean Windass undoubtedly got at school, but come ON!

When your head of state is a cheesy Wotsit with a name that literally means “fart”, you need to address what went wrong to get him into office.

A shorts story

Why the hell was I wearing shorts in the middle of February after a snowstorm?

I didn’t know and I didn’t care. I didn’t care for Trump, I didn’t care for “the resistance”, I didn’t care for Claudio Ranieri, I didn’t care for anything. I mean, for a start I was British and still am. Trump would never my direct leader unless he took over Britain by force. I was neutral as neutral could be.

I finished my pint of water and went to the gents. I was the delightful grey covering the walls, the scrubbed-out graffiti saying Don’t Trust Anyone. I whipped my cock out. 3.5 inches flaccid. I didn’t particularly want it to be 35 unlike some of the men talking at the urinals about how their wives were shit in bed. I shook, zipped my shorts back up and went out to laughter.

I turned around. “How fucking DARE you insult my shorts!” I slammed the door.

More laughter.

Still stand by what I say.

The shorts are my god.