The state of capitalism in the not-too-distant future

You sit down in front of the Manchester Red Devil-Bulls/Coca-Cola Gunners match on McDonalds Sky Sports 8 with a refreshing Carlingsberg and a pack of KP Walkers Salt and Onion Crispnuts. Commentator Wayne Rooney announces this match at the Infinitybet Arena at Old Trafford is brought to you by Google Energy and Ladbroke-Hills Betting Pty.

The match kicks off in a centre circle advertising Google Homes. The Devil-Bulls captain Hyden O’Connor-Chung, proudly sponsored by Adinike, passes to star striker, Google Sports athlete Dembele Adams-Mansour who sends it flying past Gunners keeper Marcus Adu-Singh-Pepsi, but not before an advert for Super Insurance. Then one for Apple. Then one for Americard.

“I can’t imagine a time when football didn’t have all these adverts,” you say as you hitch down your Under Armour T-shirt. “Society in general either.”

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One thought on “The state of capitalism in the not-too-distant future

  1. codeinfig

    yep, pretty much this. and its just as bad or worse in academia. personally i think if we are going to name all these things after soulless brands, i want little to do with them.

    fig doesnt have a soul either, but other than fig os (which was never what i intended to call it, but i kind of got pushed into calling it that) i dont try to awkwardly stick it on the beginning of the name of everything else. “sponsored by the fig programming language foundation,” in a neat little place on the front page of the events advertising, would definitely do it for me. these people own too much already; renaming everything is thoroughly obnoxious, and i suppose i wont be getting a job as a gillette yankee candle at&t announcer any day soon. “brought to you by” are words i never minded, and certainly miss relative to the orwellian babbling we seem to be stuck with now.

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