The story of Per Perpendicular

Per Perpendicular was a per.

Not a boy or a girl but a per.

Se believed most concepts to be arbitary and sought to live outside them. In a flat with a Nigel Farage disciple and a radical chain-smoking vegan who thought that referring to people as “pet” was offensive to animals- or “co-humans” in his unique phrasing.

Faragina owned a pet- sorry, co-human- called Frankie. Frankie used to shit all over the carpet. And Faragina used to eat it. The vegan, whose political beliefs were quite far to the left of Corbyn’s, found it both ironic and deeply offensive. The shit was an animal product just like milk and eggs. Per just observed it with interest, not in a position to find it offensive or disgusting.

One day, Per looked over Vegan’s shoulder as he navigated around on his eco-friendly gluten-free laptop built by Indonesian natives and saw child porn. Again, se did not judge. Six weeks later, Vegan was arrested for doing the nigh-on unspeakable with a child. He later sued the prison system demanding a separate kitchen with no animal products whatsoever. He even believed the dinnerladies’ gloves to have been made from “animal latex”, whatever that was.

Total neutrality can sometimes be good but can sometimes be bad.

 

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