In a bid to try and deflect criticism of his recent slip of the tongue at a rally in Buffalo, New York, Donald Trump went to his local 7/11.
He walked in expecting a middle-aged brown-skinned man in a turban at the counter, but instead got a young white female.
“Where’s Ali Bongo?” he asked.
“Listen here, Donald,” the girl said, pointing to the Bernie Sanders badge on her shirt. “We don’t like your divisive rhetoric around here. Now Bernie, he’s got my vote. You know why? Because he brings people together. Now you’re here instead of one of your servants because you fucked up yet again on live TV. Maybe next you should visit a mosque. To level things out, y’know.”
Trump jumped back and was frozen in shock for several minutes before saying “That’s MISTER TRUMP to you!” and walking out with a pack of Doritos. The girl turned to the camera and said “I’m practicing my Canadian accent just in case.”